Sketch I (Aug-Sept)

September 26, 2015

So, I really took to heart my peer critique. It was everything I needed. I realized I was just creating video and not installation. I've now came up with something that won't even exist without participants. Read ahead. There's a sketch, a written explanation, and demo videos of my water waves. 

September 23, 2015

I have been having the hardest time narrowing down my idea for my installation. I have had a flood of ideas but none of them were easy to draw out. I realized I was probably playing it safe. The ideas I came up with sounded to me liked dumbed down versions of what I really could do and what Min really wants from us in our installations. So, all that being said I have a brand new idea which I will hopefully be able to discuss with the class soon. I really want input but I also really want this idea to work!

My plan is to do a performance installation with the performance being a dance projected in the area. 
The dance is the main concept. My plan is to have help recording but then I will be in charge of editing. 
I want to convey what happens to me and many others as we go through life. Most people do like music. It evokes emotion, movement, memories, ideas, and more. There is some music out there that is able to evoke something in the depths of me that I dance like i've never danced before. Growing up I've had training in hip-hop, belly dance, and jazz. But when I free style, it's better than anything i've ever choreographed. I would have never thought I would really be volunteering to do a performance piece for this class. I love dance and have since I was a child. It was my sister watching me one evening who recommended it. I had tossed around other of my ideas with her. Ideas that never even made it to my notebook. She said I have to dance for my installation because she couldn't keep her eyes off me. She said that I was just very interesting to watch. Of course, this is going to be very hard to translate to you all in writing. I plan on doing a little video to have something to show. But, nothing takes up the space like a person physically dancing in front of you or projected on a huge screen. 
For the video I have much to consider:
Location, Lighting, Shooting Angles, Wardrobe (changing? all black but still changing?colored wigs?)

I want to portray this exhilaration and inability to sit still when inspired by music. I've tried to choreograph before but my mind doesn't open upon structure; it opens when a song plays notes in such a way that I am compelled to move in such intricate fashion. 

My style of dance could be considered lyrical hip-hop but it's really my own. 

My song choice is decided. It's decided for purpose. It is definitely a discussion point I hope to have with the class though.

I plan on transforming the space by making the projection really standout with dimmed lighting. I would love silent fans blowing cool air as you come in. The music has an eerie, edgy tone; one that provokes me the most. The video will be produced to be eye catching. That is where my main work lies. I do plan on having shots in the video that are continuous of my movements at the time but I will have edit choices in there so that it is never boring. Understanding this is going to need to be looped I will make sure either to make it seemless or have a definite end and beginning so as to have a moment of stillness. 

The lyrics contains phrases such as "don't you let out that antidote". I would not mind trying to discover a instrumental version though because, it is not the lyrics themselves that move me, it is solely the sound. I really do like this song. It does however contain drug references and such so I will surely need to make decisions considering all factors. 

The reason I want to do this as my installation can be explained for a few reasons. #1 This is the first idea I had for my installation that actually inspired me. #2 My other ideas felt like dead ends #3 This feels like it is truly coming from a place art should come from #4 It makes me sick to my stomach to think I am actually going to do this. Good art should be reaching out of your comfort zone. The fact that my stomach is already turning is making me want to push harder. 



September 15, 2015

This post is going to briefly describe the multitude of ideas I have and my problem choosing one. Adding to my previous post is an idea using masks but, I'm so far from all those ideas now. Really studying Tracey Emin has helped. I'll present more on this but the reason I like her is being she is really open, honest, and not afraid. That's what I want. That's what I know I can create. That's what I know exists inside me. I just have to be able to be uncomfortable showing myself to the world.

My three most recent ideas came to me when I decided that I couldn't possibly make an installation that was in my safety zone.

1. When I was younger, and actually still because I'm a woman, I was really sexually objectified. There are many female artists who talk about sexual history and I love adding to that as a feminist because personal is political. But anyways, I want to convey the damage, the pain, the unwanted attention. I was thinking of using knives as phallic symbols and have them stabbed into different picture of me at different ages. Maybe even cutting like pieces of meat.

2. Another idea is about my daughter. She has a million selfies she has taken of herself. I also have pictures and video of her from birth to almost 4 years now. Those alongside stuffed "dolls" I will make by filling out each of her sizes from birth until now so they are tangible sizes she has gone through her whole life is something I am contemplating.

3. My last idea involves my daughter as well. I breast fed her. She nursed a lot. I even participated in extended breastfeeding or as I call it "extended breastfeeding" because only our culture defines anything past 6 months or a year to be too long.But so, that is part of the point. Our culture has sexualized women's breasts so much to the point that breastfeeding is considered obscene by some. And really it is not. We are animals. It is a natural human instinct for a baby to want to nurse. Anyways, my daughter is going on 4 and still tries. Not only that but she fights. I want to show how innocent and aggressive human nature can be through a video of her. My plan is to wear pasties and film her and I interacting. Because whenever we are together and she is on my lap or we are changing or anything she still has that urge. It may be a little hard to fully explain my point here but I feel really strongly about this one. 

First post:

This was a note taken on my phone. I am just brainstorming and writing down ideas as they come to me. 

 These scribbles contain me any ideas. One idea is in regards to the weight of words and integrity of the word user.

This image of my other scribbles is hashing out more ideas. The idea of should in regards to reality and shame. I'm also pondering the idea of exposing a vulnerability about myself.